booktastic

I would like to claim that there is some intensely literary reason why I am choosing to currently boycott the Twilight books - but, in all honesty, it’s just because they are too popular right now. They have become popular to the point of obnoxiousness, so I hereby decree that I will not be reading these books.

If I were to read them now, it would only be because everyone else in the world is reading them. And you know what? That’s no reason to read a book. You should read a book because it’s educational, enlightening, funny, entertaining - or in some way interesting to you - NOT because a billion teenage girls have purchased a book and are literature-gasming over the main character.

Oh, I read Harry Potter. Well, that is to say, I tried to read Harry Potter (twice) but I couldn’t get into them. I mean, they weren’t terrible: they were cute and written in a mildly amusing fashion… They just didn’t do anything for me. I’ve read books about wizard schools that were much funnier and more original (*cough* Terry Pratchett *cough*). I have a feeling that this is going to be the same sort of thing.

The Twilight books are apparently focused on a romance element (hence, the appeal to teenage girls and ostensibly women in general). I know a good number of girls in their twenties who are reading these books and professing a strong liking for them - my sister-in-law among them. Who knows? Maybe I would like them. I’ve enjoyed a Gothic romance in my time - Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for several years.

However, I highly doubt that this is a Gothic romance in the classic sense of the term, and is simply a book about a teenager lusting after a handsome, mysterious boy with magical powers. Let me guess - he’s a loner with the soul of a poet, and only she really understands him. (Well, we’ve never heard that story before, Have We?)

Yes, yes, yes, I’m sure Twilight is so much more than that. I can already hear the outraged cries of “No, you don’t understand - it really is good!” Perhaps it’s an “He’s an evil vampire, I’m a nice person, we can never be together,” or it’s a “Vampire? What’s a vampire? Wow, this boy is really exciting and handsome and - has fangs - and is sucking my blood… Hey, wait a second. Get away from me! But wait, you’re a loner with the soul of a poet…” or maybe it’s “He’s a vampire, and that’s cool, but I kind of don’t want to be a vampire yet so that we can drag the story out for another ten books.” (Please forgive the sarcasm, Twilight-lovers. I may be just a trifle jaded).

Now, let me make this clear: I do not have a problem with films, books, etc. that happen to feature vampires. In my time have enjoyed quite a number of films that featured vampires prominently; for instance, I recently had a good time watching Hammer’s The Horror of Dracula and The Brides of Dracula. 

But I do have a problem with people re-fashioning evil things and telling you that they’re not “evil” - they’re “cool”. You know what? Nothing is cool about vampirism. It’s distinctly un-cool. Know how I can prove this? Vampirisim suddenly becomes a whole lot less cool if the guy who appears in your room during the night and is leaning over you in the darkness looks like this. I somehow don’t see a lot of fan girls getting wobbly-at-the-knees over him (no offense, guy). I’m concerned about evil things being portrayed as attractive and glamorous (even a kind of silly, implausible, over-the-top evil like vampirism) because if enough evil things slide into your subconscious via interesting, attractive routes, you begin to get the subtle sense that evil is much more interesting and fun than good… Perhaps evil isn’t so evil after all… Maybe there is no such thing as evil.

This is a terrible, terrible danger. Would you want the person in charge of your bank account to believe there’s no such thing as evil? …. your doctor? … daycare provider? … President? That may seem like a rather dire, over-the-top scenario on my part, but you can never be too vigilant where evil is concerned.

All of this said…. Perhaps all my negative thoughts about the Twilight series ARE completely unfounded and this is a totally original, fascinating story - and not at all Buffy, The Vampire Slayer fashioned for fan girls rather than fan boys.

But… the simple truth is… I really just don’t want to read this book. Like I said, I would only be reading it because everybody else seems to like it…  But what I’ve heard about it just doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t think vampires are cool, I’m too old to find teenage boys attractive, I detest people making evil things appear glamorous - and I’m really not a romance reader or even much of a gothic novel reader.

And if I did pick up the first of these books and attempt to read it - and if it turns out to be any of the things that I suspect it is - I would just have to throw it against the wall, smack myself in the head and say, “Why did you try to read this? You knew what it was going to be!” - then return it to the library and resume my boycott.

So I think I’ll just give it a miss. That would be much simpler. — Mrs. Hall

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